Sister Stories | Crystal's Story
The Art of Lamenting
“The only way out is through.” Over the past year, I’ve heard that sentence countless times and even applauded in agreement when someone shared it. But recently as I’ve walked through hard seasons with friends, struggled through my own battles, faced loss, and watched the broken world around me come into a deeper focus, I have often wondered what the purpose of it all was. There is not always a step by step explanation for the pain, sorrow, fear, and disappointment we so steadily encounter as citizens on this planet.
No one is immune to it, no one is too rich for it, and nothing, not even religious belief, position, or money can stop it from entangling itself on us. And although there’s nothing I can do or say that will take away your past pain, future disappointment or trial; what I can say is that God sees you, knows you, and cares for you. I can share that there is beauty in our process and purpose in our pain. Within our hardships are opportunities to tune our heart to the Father’s and to turn our affections to his Holy hand. The difference here is that it isn’t faking fine or ignoring the brokenness around us to proclaim how good God is (which He is, no doubt, but track with me). It’s the art of lamenting. The idea that in our sorrow and our confusion, we can still HONESTLY worship God for who He is and what he has done.
“Lamentation is a powerful, and meaningful, form of worship because it places our love for God above even the worst of circumstances in our life… God does not ask us to deny the existence of our suffering. He does want us to collect it, stand in those things and make Him an offering. The Holy Spirit, our Comforter, helps us to do this: He aligns Himself with our will and says, ‘I will help you to will to worship God.’ The glory of the majesty of God is that He helps us will and do.” – Graham Cooke
Life is hard. Sadness and disappointment are real. Pain is evident. But so is joy and so is healing and they all are able to be accessed by each of us. We all have the opportunity to grab hold of our pain while pursuing peace.
It’s okay to feel and to explore emotions.
Growing up, I always forced myself to focus on the positives in situations. I would do my best to block out the messy, all too real feelings and hold it together for those around me. After a while it became habit. My natural reaction was to expect the worst but assume the best all while holding my mother’s hand. I didn’t want to talk about it and I definitely didn’t want to feel it. Over the years this has further moved into how I handle relationships, disappointments and failure.
For a while there, I did all I could to blur out the pain and disdain and approach peace and joy with all I had. Believing that God, although He arguably had a plan for my pain, was best served in my joy. Trying to hold it all together as things around you fall apart is not humanly possible. It’s a myth. One that I far too often have allowed to shape me.
God’s not looking for the optimistic perception of our pain to serve him, he is looking for obedience and worship amid our pain.
It’s not been easy to learn this (and I’m still learning tbh). If anything, it’s gotten harder as I’ve gotten older. The goal isn’t the appearance of peace but holy deep-rooted contentment amidst our ever-changing circumstances.
The art of lamenting is a beautiful process of confronting pain and sadness in life. It’s not about willing it away but allowing ourselves to feel. Our pain serves as a reminder of our humanity. Life is decaying and the world around us is dark. It’s not hard to type because it’s true. Sin is death and I can feel it around me in this season. It’s not sneaky or hidden. Sadness has painted the colors of my mind and yet a glimmer of hope is always the underlying thread.
“Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
“Lament is larger than feeling sorry that you’ve sinned. It encompasses pain, hurt, confusion, anger, betrayal, despair, and injustice. It goes beyond your personal relationships to consider how all creation groans to be restored to God. ‘Jesus understood that lament was the only true response of faith to the brokenness and fallenness of the world. It provides the only trustworthy bridge to God across the deep seismic quaking of our lives,”
My pain has propelled me into the father’s arms. It is there that I can cry without fear of shame or self-preservation. It is there that I feel restoration through every ounce of my body. In His arms I can feel fully poured out and yet not empty.
Restoration, healing and fulfillment are rendered at the foot of the cross. It is in my pain that I will myself to worship God. It is in my pain that the hope of Jesus and the hope of His eternal glory are made real. It is here that I am relatable to others and where I am refined for my purpose. My pain isn’t meant to break me, it’s used to repurpose & refine me.
And the truth is it’s not even about me.
I read recently about how Moses’ life was spared through the river that was supposed to kill him. Remember the story of Moses being sent in a basket down the river? Many children were slain in that very body of water, but God had a plan to restore that path of destruction- not by eliminating it but by using it.
“The worst thing you endured should have killed you, but now God is going to use that pain to release power in your life. The devil might have meant it for evil, but God will use it for good. And not just for you but for those who are blessed through you. Jesus’ life shows the same thing. The devil thought he had won as Jesus hung on the cross. But little did Satan know that the cross was an offensive weapon that would be his undoing. In God’s hands, what is meant to destroy you can become a source of rescue!” – Levi Lusko
so if He must, may God use my lamentation to propel others into His grace and further His kingdom.
Although we are not explicitly lacking examples of lamentation in scripture, there is still much to be explored. “What we need is simply the assurance that it’s okay to lament. We all carry deep within ourselves a pressurized reservoir of tears. It takes only the right key at the right time to unlock them. In God’s perfect time, these tears can be released to form a healing flood. That’s the beauty and the mystery of the prayer of lament.” – Michael Card
My prayer is that you and I both will not shy away from lamentation. That we will confront our sorrow and bring it before the Lord. That we will not push away from our feelings and that we will seek Godly counsel and community as we walk forward in seasons of lament. Below I’ve included practical steps to aid in your journey of lamenting.
Practical ways to exercise the art of lamentation:
Prayer
Bring it to the Lord. Pray for peace, wisdom, healing and courage to confront your pain. Pray for a community of biblical believing people to walk with you. Pray for those who will be encouraged and come to know Jesus through your redemption story.
Confront Pain
Whether it’s through journaling, singing, or therapy, you have to acknowledge the aches in your heart.
“The same nerve endings that allow you to feel the pain of searing loss also allow you to feel God’s presence and His glory to a degree that previously could not have been reached. When you don’t numb the hurt but rather grit your teeth and face it, God meets you there and allows the deep trough of your sorrow to become a reservoir full of his presence”
Confess Pain
Community is important. When in pain, it’s easy to believe the lie that you are alone and that no one cares. Get people around you who tell you the truth and who are for you. Whoever you choose, make sure they are people you can be wholly honest with.
Make a plan to move forward
This isn’t concrete and I’m not suggesting you can work your way out of grief. I am however, suggesting, that you make a plan for choices that will help your soul rather than inhibit it.
Trust that the Lord is making a way
It takes time but it’s worth it. Commit to pursue Christ amidst the pain, for the long haul.
In Him,
Crystal
|Meet Crystal|
Nice to meet you, I’m Crystal. A traveling city girl originally from Richmond, Virginia. Recently, I started moonlighting as a photographer and have found great joy in helping others develop their creative dreams. Big "comedy" girl, like seriously I'm here to laugh. The verdict is still out on whether I'm an Enneagram 6 or 7. I love pretty stationary, coffee, and good poetry. I hope to encourage and equip those around me with the life-giving truth of Christ. I pray that my adventures, experiences, and lessons would encourage and motivate you to keep trusting the Lord. Follow me here.