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  • Carley Marcouillier

The Collaged Heart: A Conversation of Sorts

 Narrator

A broken heart with missing spaces,

seeks to fill the void with many different faces.

Layer upon layer of various designs;

Never noticing that they mismatch in size.


The heart tries to cover the pain of what it feels inside,

Projecting vanity, using profanity;

Yet ever feeding this hopeless sense of anxiety.

No songs can depict or quotes predict,

the feelings that follow habits kicked.

The ache so deep, the shame so real,

That even the mention of Christ makes the stomachs reel.


Heart

Where was He when I was drinking, smoking, faking, and breaking apart?

Oh, and now is a good time to tell me that HE can mend my heart.

I’ve heard it before so please spare me the lecture,

I don’t care about the rules or this useless conjecture.


I want to be Free. Free from the anger, confusion, and continual pain,

This is why my heart is so colorfully displayed.

I want to so badly forget my regret,

So, I continual neglect the lines that are set.


A collage of fact upon fiction,

I find myself dipping into every worldly addiction.

While adding in bits of truth to ease my conviction.

I want to feel without fear.

I want to sleep with our being scared;

I want a love that is not a lie.

I desire friendship without fakeness and hope that is not weightless.


I am tired of keeping my thoughts wrapped up inside;

Yet I shrink in distrust with the memories I hide.

People say they care yet it feels more like they stare;

I know what they’re thinking and honestly I don’t care.


I’m lost in what used to be and not sure who I’m meant to be;

I know what I want to be but uncertain of how to get to me.

This collage makes it hard to see,

It’s like I can’t choose who I want to be.


I know I need Christ but I’m unwilling to pay that price.

This is where I find myself; feet on both sides of the line;

Knowing what I should do yet never following through.


Now here I am more broken than ever,

wondering if this feeling will go on forever,

I prepare to hold my ground yet realize I may eventually drown.


Narrator

The heart will continue to deliberate on what is best,

But oh how deceitful the heart is when expressed.

This collage of the heart’s desires will always be met by another admirer.


Nothing will satisfy human desires,

and waiting will only postpone what is inevitably required.

Standing for the truth and the lie,

does not make one a winner for both sides.


It must be one or the other, please make up your mind.

Your heart, dear one, was never meant to be a collage;

What you need is a cardiac massage.


The restoring power of His loving arms;

reforms the heart and completely transforms.

His touch is extraordinary, so feel without fear;

His Peace is so Powerful, please sleep without being scared.

His love is living and has never told a lie;

His friendship is flawless and hoping in Him,You will never die.


This collage of your heart, is it where you want to be,

Are you full? And finally Free?

What if this one thing you think is keeping you from falling,

is the very same thing that you must give up to move past this stalling?


Heart, come home, and stop fighting;

Christ is an Author that excels at rewriting.

Strip away the colors, and emotions;

And bath in the Grace of God’s forgiving ocean.

He wants you, He loves you, He died and lives again to show you

what He would do to capture your heart and make it new.


CM

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