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  • Carley Marcouillier

CHAPTER II: BACKWARDS

Updated: May 31, 2019

Throughout my childhood, I struggled with reading. My mother home educated my two older brothers and myself. Yet, unlike my siblings, who quickly grasped the concept of reading, I did not. I struggled, both internally and externally, trying to understand “what was wrong with me”. It wasn’t until middle school, I was diagnosed with Dyslexia, a reading disability that impacts the way the brain interprets letters, words, and symbols. ⁣ ⁣ This challenge throughout my early years created a deep belief that I was “unable” which grew into a mindset of insecurity whenever I was asked to read, spell, or share words verbally from a page. ⁣ Fear gripped me while jokes, questions, and laughs often followed my failed attempts to face my limitation. ⁣ ⁣ Things in life often feel this way. ⁣ Backwards. ⁣ Unscripted.⁣ Unhelpful & ⁣ Downright painful. ⁣ ⁣ Yet as I reflect, I would not change this unscripted plot in my story, because backwards has taught me that I am weak, limited, and all together human but my God is bigger than even my backwards brain. ⁣ ⁣ He opens doors through backwards ways, and using personal challenges to remind our souls that we can rest on His strength not our own.⁣ He did not take away my dyslexia, but through His grace, provided me the tools I needed to persevere. ⁣ ⁣ I have learned to press in, fight hard, face fear, fall down & get back up again through calling on the One who gives me strength. ⁣ ⁣ The backwards chapters of our stories remind us to look up for the power to push through & experience the grace of God! ⁣ ⁣ ⁣

CM

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